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New Water Bottles For Sale

May 18, 2016 3:30pm | George Washington

The night was dark and stormy, and Oliver Stretch ’16, was plotting. Fed up with newly elected President Ginger Gorgeous’s hay bale policies and “horse-like leadership”, Stetch planned to depose her. Luckily the Pony Secret Service caught Stretch earlier this morning, thwarting his attempted horsey coup d’etat. […]

Stretch Implicated In Horse Coup

April 30, 2016 9:06pm | Mark Z. Danielewski

The night was dark and stormy, and Oliver Stretch ’16, was plotting. Fed up with newly elected President Ginger Gorgeous’s hay bale policies and “horse-like leadership”, Stetch planned to depose her. Luckily the Pony Secret Service caught Stretch earlier this morning, thwarting his attempted horsey coup d’etat. […]

StuCo President Election Results Shock

April 30, 2016 8:43pm | Jeffrey Eugenides

It should have been a safe assumption that our president-elect would come from the pool of six finalists running for office, or at least that the president would be human. As yesterday proved, both of these assumptions would be wrong. Write in candidate Ginger Gorgeous, a […]

Chess Team Competes – Loses

April 30, 2016 8:33pm | William Faulkner

PBJ Highschool’s chess team came back from their game against Nutella and Fluff High yesterday, their heads hung low in defeat. Speaking about her team’s loss, captain Addie Bundren said, “N&F chessed better than we ever could hope to. Since the loss, my team has […]

Student council pushes for new stargazing elective

April 29, 2016 3:47am | Walt Whitman

The junior/senior astronomy elective, Stars for Students 501, has become a popular course in the past few years. However, there are many students who have already taken this course and want to learn even more. Student council promised to do so, and departed. Left alone, I ascended the […]

Star athlete sustains injury, out for season

April 29, 2016 3:29am | Herman Melville

Junior Alice Smith was training for her upcoming soccer game when she tripped and suddenly found herself falling down a very deep hole in the middle of the field. Little did she know, a rabbit had dug its way into the middle of the soccer field, […]

Blue Whale is Newest Addition to School Aquarium

April 29, 2016 3:08am | Captain Ahab

After months of construction, Peanut Butter and Jelly High is ready for its newest addition to the Smith Aquarium: a blue whale. It now lives with the other fish in a brand new, 40-foot deep tank donated by an anonymous alum. The report of his […]

Horses disrupt classroom discussion

April 29, 2016 1:51am | Ginger Gorgeous

Ginger and I were not of the regular tall carriage horse breed, we had more of the racing blood in us. We stood about fifteen and a half hands high; we were therefore just as good for riding as we were for driving, and our […]